Well, I might be but it’s by no means clear. I’ve been trying to lay bare some of the assumptions that we impose on our reading of the bible, particularly in regard to the afterlife.

The common view is that Christianity teaches that after death, you’ll either go to heaven and be with God or to hell where you’ll be in a lot of hot water. (Interestingly, the centre of Dante’s hell sees Satan as frozen in ice. Given that, for most of human history, cold has been our main enemy, it makes sense that ultimate hell should be frozen isolation and ‘Jack Frost nipping at your nose’ rather than ‘sinners roasting on an open fire’.)

Not biblical

The biblical picture doesn’t reflect these assumptions. As I said in my previous piece, the Hebrew view was that the dead (all of them) ended up in Sheol and, whilst there was some sense of God’s ability to redeem individuals from death (Psalm 16.10), there was not a general expectation that he would necessarily do so. Heaven, in Hebrew cosmology, is the abode of God rather than the post-mortem destination of his people. Instead, the Jews expect a resurrection.

New bodies

Now, Jesus has been raised as the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep (1 Corinthians 15: 20). As he proved to Thomas, his body was very real and very solid. Yet, as Paul says, the heavenly body is not like the earthly body just as the plant is not like the seed from which it springs (1 Corinthians 15: 35 -49).  For we who follow, the hope is the same: a new heavenly body; the ultimate upgrade, but where is that body going to live?

You’d think that was obvious: it is after all a ‘heavenly’ body. There are indeed hints that we will go to be with God in heaven: Jesus promises his disciples that he will take them to be with him so that they can be where he is (John 14.3).  He assured the thief on the cross that today you will be with me in paradise (Luke 23.43). Elijah was whisked off, bodily, into heaven in a chariot. So it’s natural to think that this might be our destination as well. Jesus drifted off into the sky at his ascension and those who remain at the time of his coming will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air (1 Thessalonians 4:17). This sounds marvelous, of course, but are we sure that we know where the landing strip is?

Choir practice in a jeweller’s shop

The traditional view of heaven is, quite honestly, not that appealing. George Orwell famously described it as being like choir practice in a jeweller’s shop. We are invited to believe that it might be like a Sunday morning worship service that goes on… for all eternity.

To some this might be considered something of an invitation to sin. Clouds, fat, winged babies, harps and pearly gates: it’s none of it in the bible (apart from the pearly gates, but they are not in heaven anyway). Yet these images still inform or infect our beliefs about our life after death.

What’s actually in the bible is quite different.

Part 2 "Back to Plan A" coming soon.

What do you think happens after death? 

What does 'heaven' mean to you?