When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

This is a gleeful picture of the freedoms that old age might bring. We feel it should be possible. But the following is also a reality:

“I never thought I would live to be this old. All my life I was taught how to die as a Christian, but no-one ever taught me how I ought to live in the years before I die.  I wish they had because I am an old man now, and believe me, it’s not easy”

Nearing Home: Billy Graham, Thomas Nelson, 2012

Not easy

Old age is not always funny… and it’s not always easy.

It wasn’t easy for the Apostle Paul either. We can hear his struggles with its challenges in this letter to Timothy.

The sense of urgency in verse 9 tells us that he clearly feels time is running out. He also feels vulnerable and misses his creature comforts because he asks Timothy to bring his “cloak” which was a warm travelling garment a bit like a poncho; his “scrolls”, which were his ordinary writings; and his “parchments” which were a bit more special (v.13).

And as many of us do when we have too much time to dwell on things, he finds that he can’t help thinking back to bad moments. Verse 14 may be a reference to the riot in Ephesus, where at one point he was almost torn limb from limb. He also remembers his trial and that he had no friends to give him moral support, which still seems to rankle with him (v.16).

Paul’s loneliness, bitterness and sense of isolation come through in this passage, which may give us the most honest and uncomfortable picture of ageing in the whole Bible.

Grace changes

So is there any ‘good news’ about getting old?

In verse 11 Paul asks Timothy to “Get Mark” and bring him with him. This is interesting, because there was a time when Paul saw Mark as a hollow and untrustworthy man. Mark lost his nerve on his first mission trip, which did not endear him to the zealous Paul. And when Barnabas tried to get Mark ‘back on the team’ it led to a blazing row between Paul and Barnabas.

But grace has changed Paul, and age has mellowed him. Now he not only asks for Mark, but says that “he is helpful to me in my ministry”.

Whisky and cheese

I think we have a choice about the way we age, and that we can either do it like whisky or like cheese.

Cheese tends to get bitter, mouldy and unpalatable the older it gets. But with whisky the flavour deepens and intensifies as it ages and it becomes more valuable.

If we have a set habit of walking with God through the challenges of life, our spiritual experience can deepen and intensify and become worth far more to us. If we ask in each trial “What is God saying, and what am I going to do about it?” then we can give grace a chance to mellow and change us.

Given opportunity grace can seep into every pore. It can inform every thought, modify our judgement of others and even reduce our impatience with them.

But often we only see this mellowing when death is near. Once we are faced with our own mortality old enmities can suddenly lose their importance and be forgotten so that forgiveness can flow to others. The good news is that we don’t actually have to wait till we are staring death in the face for this to happen. Grace can happen at anytime, if we give it room.

Part two will take these thoughts further, and look at what keeps us from despair in the face of death.