It's Not About You

Little Jimmy might not like the fact that his teacher just took away the toy he had been playing with and broken. But then the toy didn’t belong to Jimmy but to Philip, and Jimmy hadn’t just been playing with it, he had broken it. Little children love playing with (read: ‘destroying’) things that do not belong to them. However this isn’t just a child-sized problem; it is a sin problem, our sin problem. Especially when it comes to the area of sexuality. 

Isn’t my sex life my business?

We like to think of sex between consenting adults as morally unimpeachable. Who could possibly object to their private actions? The fact is, we do not belong to ourselves. No one is the master of himself or his destiny. We are all creatures. No policy, philosophy, or protest on our behalf can change the fact that we belong to God because He has made us for His Son (Gen 1:26-8; Col 1:16-17). And our Creator God has the ultimate right to design and destine all He creates for whatever purpose He should choose. Including orgasms. 

What is sex for?

Sexuality exists for the same reason that you or I exist. To the praise of the glory of God, 'for from Him and through Him and for Him are all things. To Him be glory forever! Amen' (Romans 11:36). Yet sexuality has an even greater testimony to bring. For marriage points to the ultimate reason this universe exists: 'the praise of the glory of God’s grace' (Eph 1:6). The shape, character and purpose of marriage is to point to the gospel:

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Eph 5: 25-32)

Marriage between a man and a woman is a divine picture of the cruel cross where the Lord Jesus gave Himself as a ransom for His bride. The King died under the vile stain and guilt of a spiritual prostitute, so that the prostitute, His dearly beloved Church, might be clothed in the spotless righteousness and splendour of her King.

Sex testifies to the grace of God

So why no sex outside of marriage? Because neither you, your bedbuddy, nor your sexuality belongs to you, that you may twist it to point to your lusts and selfishness. Sex belongs in marriage, where it testifies to the grace of God: to His kindness in creation, and to His life-giving generosity through the Lord Jesus. Inside of marriage sex brings joy, pleasure and love to one's spouse; outside of marriage it shrivels the soul. For if we abuse God's plan we break His gifts and ourselves. Indeed, to deviate from God’s plan for sexuality is to cast scorn on His Christ, mock His wisdom, belittle His grace, deny one’s need of rescue and to confirm oneself as a sexual pervert: for all and any falling short of God’s plan for sexuality is a perversion of true beauty. 

What if I’ve already made love outside of marriage?

The good news is that the reality to which marriage points promises forgiveness to all who have abused God’s design for sexuality and marriage. In Christ ‘we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace’ (Eph 1:7).

Read Larry's blogs here in English and hier auf Deutsch.