Suffering, Trust and Transformation
No ordinary day
As I write this, I’m aware an important anniversary is on the horizon. The deadline for this article will actually be four years since my last life-altering bowel operation, which left me with a bag on my tummy permanently. Fortunately, thanks to the grace of God I avoided other unpleasantries like a feeding-tube. However, it’s more than just an anniversary to me. It’s four years of trusting God, heart searching, anguish, joy and tears. Since this life-saving operation I’ve faced more hurdles. I am now taking a cocktail of medication for various chronic pains as a side effect of joint and muscle problems from Cerebral Palsy. Consequently carers visit me at least twice a day, alongside an ever increasing list of specialists and appointments. For the last year I’ve been more or less full time in an electric wheelchair as a result of all the above!
Suffering, pain and God
So, one might ask, as Job did, where was God in all this? (Job 3). In my better times, I can see God is using this for good: 'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.' (Romans 8:28). My carers regularly ask questions about my early life, my operation, or my faith, and I could say the same of most of my specialists too. Some of them can’t believe I’m still here and as ‘well’ as I am.
It’s maintaining that sense of perspective that is one of my biggest pitfalls. I have the same responsibility as the next Christian to hold every thought 'captive'(2 Corinthians 10:5). This instruction has been near the front of my mind many times in these past four years, because it is often my fiercest battle-ground due to the nature of what I am dealing with. I am reminded that we are to 'rejoice' always, giving thanks in everything (Philippians 4:4-7).
I admit, there are times when I cried many tears and asked God why He'd brought me through the operation and hadn’t taken me to be with Him. Four years ago, I was ready to go! Yet that same week, no less than seven friends visited, all needing a little support or a listening ear; I also started writing for The Big Bible Project. Now I have a ministry of listening, praying and writing, which I wrote about in The Art Of Compassion.
Gods ways are not our ways
There are times like this week when I am forced to remember how God has brought me through things in the past, is with me now, and holds my future. Times where I am in bed with fatigue, or migraine, and can barely pray, never mind do anything else. However, as a child of God and a follower of Jesus, I have to be mindful of the instruction that we are to develop the mind of Christ, despite what our daily reality might be. For these things are achieving for us a future glory, and our troubles are but momentary (Romans 8:18).
What do you think 'holding every thought captive' means in practise?
How do you think can we keep our minds on future glory whilst suffering?
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